My Nephrodyssey, or The Reneid

How sad is it that these kick-ass puns didn't occur to Mr. Smarty-Pants Classicist until the very day of his surgery?
First of all, let me say how wonderful everyone at the hospital was. It was especially nice to have a private room with plenty of space to stretch out.

I was pretty groggy at the start, and there was a lot of pain. Thankfully sweet Lady Morphine was there for me at the touch of a button. Although I sometimes felt nauseous, it was just gas from the surgery escaping. Lots of belching.

There was a device to exercise my lungs, and they pumped me with fluids until I could pee on my own. Then it was important to let the nurse know that I'd gone.

For entertainment I had brought a selection of books and movies

The best medicine, of course, was talking to family and friends on the phone. Did I mention that the hospital gave me a gift basket for being a donor? It was full of junk food, so I think they were just trying to drum up business. I hate this picture because you can totally see my butt.

Sometimes I'd stretch out in the recliner, which was where Phoebe usually sat, or we'd go visit Doug on his floor. That was the best. I had a slight fever this day so they made me wear a mask. Better safe than sorry! Eventually we just brought the wheelchair as a backup, as I was strong enough to make it there and back on my own.

Finally, would you like to see my scars? Don't be shy, you know you do.

Yeah, they hurt, and still do a fair amount. Two little holes for the instruments and one large one to get the kidney out. The morbid can compare these to a more graphic version here. Thanks to Phoebe for help with all the photos.